I wanted to walk the path of the fabled Muse to be peacefully neutral!
A life of disheiveled peace where I could be what I want! Who I want!
Complete unbiased inaction and acceptance.

It was going to be perfect.
Why can't anything go the way I want? I try so hard!!

Fine, if I can't be comfortable in my own skin when I'm awake or asleep,
if this is what fate wants of me,
then so be it.